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003 - Very Apropos Series: Early Retirement? Ha, Ha!


TB1:                 “Come on! You know it better than I do. The only reason why we are here is because we are old.”

TB2:                 “I’m much younger than you.”

TB1:                 “Nonetheless, you too were replaced.”


TB2:                 “That was a total injustice, if you ask me.”

TB1:                 “Injustice or not, we should have been let go properly.”

TB2:                 “What do you mean?”

TB1:                 “We were just abandoned; in the old days they would have given us ample notice so we could prepare for our retirement.”

TB2:                 “I cannot call this abandonment or retirement; in fact, I wish we were abandoned, and I super wish we were retired. We are here preparing for our next chores: filthy, rotten tasks reserved for the presumed old and feeble; you’ll see.”

TB1:                 “The oldest, remaining worker –if we can call him that– has practically lost all his hair. He stinks to high heaven, moves about with a cast around his almost broken spine. Rarely sees the light of day because they keep him hiding not to upset visitors to the household.”

TB2:                 “Do you remember the good old days, when we smelled fresh and were always clean and ready to tackle our one-and-only chore?”

TB1:                 “Of course I do, those were the days alright. But I knew something was wrong when you showed up and began replacing me. I had a respite when the master went on vacation and took you with him. But then, the master –sometimes I want to refer to him as the monster– returned with you in tow to replace me, at least half the time. To this day, I am still puzzled about that. Any other master would have replaced me, given me my due and allowed me to leave in a more appropriate way.”

TB2:                 “Unfortunately, for both of us, I think we are going to replace ‘old stinky’ and replace him on his worse tasks. He is way too old; he simply cannot do his chores anymore.”

TB1:                 “I pray you are wrong. Maybe we should do what ‘T’ did when he felt certain he was going to be used for other purposes.”

TB2:                 “Who is ‘T’ and were did he work?”

TB1:                 “He worked in the kitchen and in the dining room. But one day, the master took him to the bedroom and there, in a split second, disappeared. He was jealous of a new comer who had all the looks of being his replacement.”

TB2:                 “How did he disappear?”

TB1:                 “He had the ability to roll and hide almost in plain sight. When the master turned around, ‘T’ was gone. They say that the master knows well where ‘T’ is hiding, but cannot reach him, so he’s letting him stay there.”

TB2:                 “How many more of us are there? Do you know?”

TB1:                 “At one time we were about six, but I was the only one used to brush the master’s teeth. The others were doing other chores. ‘Stinky’ was already unplugging the drain and cleaning the hard-to-reach areas of the toilet. He was mistreated by the harsh chemicals that are used to make his cleaning tasks easier. Poor ‘Stinky,’ that’s when he began to lose his bristles.

TB2:                 “If we replace him, what will the master do with him?”

TB1:                 “Most probably, he’ll just throw him away.”

TB2:                 “And what about ‘T’?”

TB1:                 “‘T’ is a tumbler. He’ll remain where he is until the master gets a friend that can reach him and pull him out of his hiding place.”

TB2:                 “Where is his hiding place?”

TB1:                 “Under the bed.”

TB2:                 “And at the end, what will happen to our master? ¿Will he retire ahead of time as he wishes or will he have a fate similar to ours?

TB1:                 “He’ll suffer the same fate as us; his head is already going bald.”


Note: Yes, my dear readers, TB1 means Toothbrush One and TB2, Toothbrush Two. They talk all the time.


Text and Illustrations © Jacob A. J. Taylor 2013

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